Being Ill in Bulgaria

Seeing people of my own age around me draws me to compare health. Of course you can't tell how healthy a person is just by looking at them. however you can see how they walk, posture and general body language to give you clues to their wellbeing. One of my great pastime is people watching anyway so when my focus is on someone akin to my age there is bound to be comparisons with myself.

We all have been ill at some point and now it was my turn for a change. Pain is something I can bear when I am in control such as pushing myself physically on my bike or cycling, but pain caused by illness is at the very least an intolerable scenario.

As you get older you put up with aches and pains, it grows upon you gradually that is acceptable it is a message reminding you you're getting older and can't run around like a spring chicken anymore. That doesn't mean you become stagnant, just more careful with excursions for example proper warming up and warming down before and after exercising or thinking first before running for a bus or picking up that heavy box. It took some painful experiences to come to terms with that way.

Well now back in Bulgaria and putting up with a painful left hand for months, which I put down to a history of tension initially taking up the viola after puberty, (long story). Then working in Bulgaria full time in a boiler factory in Bulgaria back in 2007, basically with an active drill in my hand 8 hours a day (I'm left handed). The latter did the most damage. I started up the piano again for a least and hour a day a few months ago and the left hand was giving me problems with tension and stress which gradually got worse, but I persevered. Perhaps I should have read the signs and given it a break. On top of this my cycling requires hours on end of grip on the handlebars, which doesn't do the wrist any favours especially when the weather turned a little damper and colder. So come the end of November it wasn't very comfortable at all.

The Barrels That Did The Damage

27th November arrived and it was the evening before Rakia Making Day. I had to help get two big barrels full of fermented wine out of my garage and onto a van. It was a cold evening pouring with rain and I had been waiting for half an hour for the van to arrive on the street in these condition. A cold man with no head cover or gloves and soaked through with the thought of rakia making motivating him. The van duly arrived and as I began to lift the first barrel my left wrist cracked under the strain accompanied with a sharp dagger like pain. I worked through the pain on the second barrel and struggled with four heavy sacks of wood. That was it I thought, give it a rest overnight and will be fine in the morning. That evening I took a couple of paracetamol and an early night to bed for a 5:30 rise in the morning and very excited for the Rakia Making Day ahead.

The following morning on waking up before the alarm, I should have gone to the Doctor, but with the excitement and adrenalin of Rakia making in front of me I pushed through the pain and got through the process one-handed, including the driving to the village. It didn't end there, the pain was becoming very close to intolerable now and apples had to be peeling and cut to add to the fresh rakia crying out for them. Galia insisted she should do it but being the fool I am for some reason I have a compulsion for self-suffering and a steeped history for working through pain just for the hell of the challenge. The apples were duly albeit painfully prepared and my left wrist was now transformed into constant pain rather than intermittent with movement. Something quite wrong there now I thought. Still I will rest it overnight and tomorrow with no plans to do anything. It will be fine.

Bed at 11:00 and the pain now was constant increasing to the degree I couldn't sleep no matter what position my hand was in. By 02:30 I was at the end of my tether end and in tears with pain. The wrist was compressed by wrapping in a pair of socks around it to support, but that made no difference. The agony now was completely out of my control and that's where the decision was made to visit the hospital. But I was feeling light-headed and dizzy almost to the point of passing, so I reluctantly had to wake Galia who was in a deep sleep next to me for assistance.

A&E My First Hospital Call 2:30 am

A taxi was called and we arrived at the local hospital some 10 minutes later. I was seen immediately and examined thoroughly by a team of at least four Doctors in attendance with three nurses in turn. I was laid down on a bed and put on a drip for three hours. I was shaking from cold and nerves as they mentioned that I might be suffering from a stroke!! Bloody Hell was my reaction to that, after all the fitness I do and this? Can't be! I was left to ponder that for quite some time. During this time I was distracted by an argument right by the side of the bed I was lying on with a Gypsy Mother and Daughter demanding a prescription off the Doctor. The argument lasted ages and was very heated in the end they were ordered out of the treatment rooms and had to wait until the day shift started to be served. I found out that this was common that Gypsies often come at night with a free taxi service and free treatment and drugs just because they are treated differently to Bulgarians. they take advantage of this and when given the free drugs sell them on for 100% profit. We (or should I say Bulgarians) have to pay for taxis, medical treatment and prescriptions!) This incident however didn't detract me too much with the pain I was in and the shaking continued.

Second Hospital for X-Ray

5:00 in the morning and it was a transfer to another hospital, (with a taxi we paid for!) for an x-ray. This hospital was where Galia's Nephew works who I cycle with on occasion. We turned up and an x-ray was made within 10 minutes. Then it was another hospital for an examination from another specialist with addition tests to be made. Another taxi taken and now the third hospital in the space of 12 hours.

Third Call Yambol's Polyclinic

Whilst waiting to be seen, there were six other parties there all with the same appointment time of 16:30 to see one Doctor. How was that? I was examined and told that there was no stroke but probably just an infection and further blood tests would be taken early tomorrow morning. I was given a prescription two series of injections, (hate those!) one set of tablets, and a powder compound to be mixed with water and drunk. All this cost money including the visits and Doctors seen with tomorrow the promise of more costs. No avoiding this unless you are a Gypsy apparently. Doesn't matter that I'm British and paid National Insurance throughout my working life not that I expect any special treatment as a Brit. 

Current Medication!

Another night but this time I slept well after a bout of two injections one on each cheek and other prescribed medicine. I  was told no food or drink in the morning prior to the planned hospital tests and duly adhered to instructions turning up with a rumbling stomach. 

Fees paid for blood and urine specimen test although only blood was taken even though we paid for both. the queuing system here is absolute chaos and only though who have no scruples about running up to the treatment room get seen first. A classic case seen here where an overweight man crawled up the corridor as if it was his last walk on earth, then once the surgery door open he was an Olympic Athlete sprinted to the door and getting in before those who had been waiting for their turn. I find it strange that no one complains. I have been told to just keep quite in these situations as many Bulgarians are prejudice on finding out I'm English in confrontational situations. This advice has kept me out of trouble for years even though it is difficult not to express an opinion seeing what goes on..

The blood test was good, all normal, a relief and it was now time to continue with the given drugs and become a passive person for a week. No fitness, no piano, no work on repairs or rebuilding my bike and no driving. Difficult!

The Cost!

I'm feeling a lot better now, but am reminded again about how old I am and how I should behave. The total cost of this episode amounted to over 100 BG Lev. You just can't afford to be ill here without private health insurance which is something I cam considering right now. But will it get overlooked and on the backburner when I am fit again? Probably......That's what the vast majority of people do here in Bulgaria anyway, take it as it comes, they just don't have disposable income for a, What if?', scenario on health.

So now when I people watch and see individuals my age and compare health, I know that at any point in time health can change without warning, that doesn't stop you trying to look after yourself though to reduced the risk factor which I will continue to do. Beside I feel that investment in fitness is cheaper than investment in health insurance which I can 'Ill afford,' on my small pension here.

Cycle Accident - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

It has been just over six weeks since my bicycle accident and is something that plagues me on a daily basis.

Still with pain in my right knee which is due to be scanned in a couple of weeks, I hurts to think of myself on a bicycle. This is not from the thought of physical capability but from the fear and trepidation of not being up to it mentally.

In recent weeks I have felt isolated not being able to talk about the accident or cycling which had always been a big part of my life both in practice and verbal promotion. Each time I was drawn into conversation about cycling and the accident in particular I had to stop in my tracks or break down in tears without any warning. So, what I do is avoid the topic completely and not get trapped on the subject when it comes along.

Sleep is another factor, or should I say the lack of it. Getting to sleep is a problem as my mind wanders into many areas, including reflections on the accident focusing of the sequential events of that ill fated morning. From the joy of a lovely morning in second wind on quiet roads looking forward to the undulating road across the other side of Kingsbury Road, to the sound of the van crashing into the car, then the deflected car speeding towards me and the head on impact into me. The lying in the street realising I was injured and daren't move, which felt like a lifetime of waiting. People around me staring, then the police, the paramedics and total confusion. Trying to be polite and not cause people trouble joking but from shock.

The journey to hospital in the ambulance with sirens running, the rest was a blur until I found myself outside the hospital with some surgeons trousers on and broken cycling SPD shoes faced with getting public transport home. All I remember about that was deciding whether I should actually go to work at that point, even though I was in severe pain! Why? I did go to work the next day and that was a bad decision

Even now I feel it hard to write about this and I have butterflies in my stomach thinking about how I can cope it I cannot mentally get back on a cycle again. Depressive thoughts.

I need therapy and counselling I feel. Being a very strong mentally disciplined person I felt I could get through this myself by now by pushing myself hard to make out there is nothing wrong with me, but I can't. The though of buying another bicycle usually excites me immensely, but it doesn't for the first time in my life and I have no incentive to look. This is very worrying and out of character for me as anyone who knows me would tel you.

Right now I just want to stay in my flat and not talk to anyone, not text or ring friends and feel like a recluse. At work I get angry, whereas that is completely the opposite of my history of working practice as a teacher/trainer. 

Seeing other cyclists on the road make me feel quite numb and I am not sure what to make of them. There is a no thought of emotion seeing cyclists. Why?

Lastly, the planned cycle rides and events I had booked up and planned will not be ridden as it stands. I really don't know how I can live without those normally exciting goals in front of me!

Operation Belt Tightening

Galia is due to go in hospital this tomorrow (Thursday) for another operations to be performed by her cousin. She has been sweating it out for quite a few weeks after her first successful operation and remains in a state of tension knowing that for many weeks afterwards she will be in great pain on recovery.

It has been difficult for Galia as she has had this problem for many years now. I try and tell here that for the first time in over twenty years she will see a light at the end of the long and painful tunnel. Like many Bulgarians Galia thinks of now rather than the future and right now she has to go through the biggest hurdle. It is quite hard to get Bulgarians to think ahead. It is the same with shopping, they will just get enough for today as tomorrow they will go out and do the same, they never thing ahead for the weekend.

The most difficult thing to come to terms with is my perfect health put alongside. I find myself apologising that I have no medical or health problems and that I wish I could take the place of her being ill instead. Galia I don't think understands that as she doesn't say much in response as it something that none of us can do anything about so what's the point in talking about it. She just says that I am very lucky not to be ill. I look at it as not luck but education and common sense looking after yourself that contributes to being healthy.

Galia has also had dental treatment on her teeth a few months ago having three large molars extracted. She was due to have another dose of treatment to have these teeth replaced, but hasn't entertained the idea due to the cost. To put ithe cost in perspective, it equates to over a month of Galia's wages. We live on a day to day basis, no provision for savings and the only reason Galia is having this hospital operation is that it is being performed by family for free. Without a doctor/surgeon in the family, Galia would not have gone ahead with this due to the cost. We don't have a dental surgeon in the family. Even so, we count ourselves very lucky as things stand, thousands of other Bulgarians just carry on with their suffering in poverty without complaint.

Most Bulgarians just don't look upon their diet as anything else other than tasting good, and it does. The cholesterol and calorie counts are incidental. Unless Bulgarians actually participate in competition sports, there is hardly any that do aerobic fitness. The men concentrate on muscle building but that's not really aerobic exercise.

The fittest and most durable people in Bulgaria live on the smallholdings in the villages. These hardy people work manually day in day out and out of those village smallholders the fittest are the women who work harder than the men.

Back to Galia, she will be off work for two months, she has some sick pay due, but it will be much less than she would normally earn so we will have to tighten our belts even further for a while. We are also lucky that the weather should have warmed up over the next few weeks so the heating bills should be nominal right through to the autumn.

We all hope Galia gets through this okay, nothing is worse that being in pain and ill. There really is an end of this in sight now, but for now in the Bulgarian way, we will just take things on a day by day basis.